Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A Golden Retriever!!
Q: Why did the blonde jump off a building?
A: To see if the maxi-pad had wings!!
A man escapes from prison - where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money, civilian clothes and a gun. And finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair, then tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex: don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.
To which his wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Astroglide. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too!!
